When Reality Bites (First Graders are Fickle)

A part of me doesn't want to write down the memory of yesterday and yet the other part of me thinks it is important and a life lesson. My stomach still has a knot in it and if I think about it too long I tear up. But you? You held yourself together. You held your tears until we pulled into the safety of the garage. How long was that? Six hours? Amazing and strong but so heartbreaking for me to hear.

Yesterday was Friendship Bracelet Day. All week the first grade classes have done something special each day. Monday-Puzzle Day, Tuesday-Coloring Book Day, Wednesday-Yearbook Signing Day, Thursday (yesterday)-Friendship Bracelet Day. The week will end with a picnic in the park on Friday.

Mommy didn't have a bracelet making kit for you to take to school. I didn't even have any beads. I am sorry. But I just knew there would be extra and that you would be covered. It was going to be okay and I had convinced you of that on our way to school. It was going to be fine....

When I picked you up from your daycare I could see immediately something was wrong. You were not even close to me when I saw you. Your class was down at the end of the hall getting ready to go outside and play. But there was something, something about your shoulders, and your face, your face looked blank. I thought maybe you were sick or were disappointed that I had come to get you before you had a chance to play outside. I didn't know but I knew something was different about you.

When we got in the car I asked how your day was. What was wrong? When you started to tell me about everyone making the Friendship Bracelet my heart gave a lurch. I was willing myself to hear you out and not react, no matter what was going to be said.

You told me that you were able to share with other kids and make bracelets of your own. That your friend had let you borrow some blue beads. I quickly looked at your wrists....nothing, then looked down your legs to see if maybe the ankles......nothing. Oh no, this is going to kill me but I asked anyway. "Where are your bracelets?"

That's when you told me that no one wanted to give you a bracelet. Not even the girls that had extra. You had tried to give your friend the bracelet you had made and she wouldn't take it. It had beads that changed color when they were exposed to sunlight. You asked, Jaden, the boy that likes you, he didn't want it either. And no one would even trade bracelets with you. You ended up giving the bracelet you made to your teacher.

I asked you why you didn't just keep that one you made because I would have worn it. You told me that I couldn't wear it, it is a Friendship Bracelet not a Mommy Bracelet.

What about the boys? Did they all have a bracelet?

You told me that they did. That you were the only one that no one gave a bracelet to, your friend (?) wouldn't even give you one.

I held your hand the whole way home.

When we pulled into the garage you didn't want to get out. Instead you leaned your head back against the seat. I asked you if you were trying not to cry. Your eyes filled up and you nodded and then you reached for me and you were able to let it go. You sobbed asking me why would no one give you a bracelet. I told you I had no idea but that you were home now and I would take care of you.

My baby girl, I love you so much. You might not remember this once you grow up. And if you do not remember the hurt as true pain then that will be a blessing. But I do want you to remember what happened because this, this very reason is why you must be nice and not be a mean little girl. Elementary school can be filled with mean little girls but wait until Jr. High it can be much worse.

Today, I saw you at lunch. You are fine. You are laughing and talking to all your little friends and they all want you to stand with them in line for the park. I didn't take a chance though. I took you out for lunch and we had a wonderful time even though you don't think I should get a Friendship Bracelet.